February 2010
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Weaponising Mozart →
“Britain might not make steel anymore, or cars, or pop music worth listening to, but, boy, are we world-beaters when it comes to tyranny. And now classical music, which was once taught to young people as a way of elevating their minds and tingling their souls, is being mined for its potential as a deterrent against bad behaviour.”
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The Real Problem With Midichlorians →
“It’s not that midichlorians were an explanation for something which should have been mysterious — it’s more that they were a dumb, ridiculous technobabble concoction. And they’re not an explanation you can build on, which is even worse. You can build a whole architecture on top of “an energy field that connects all living beings,” and the original trilogy did,...
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The Church of the SubGenius Hour of Slack #1245 -...
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The French novelist Marcel Proust believed people must know and understand themselves before they can know or understand others. He developed a list of subjective questions that he felt would help reveal to people their true selves and the inner personalities of those around them. (Via Jonathan Carroll.)
IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR...
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Secret Of Invisibility REVEALED →
“A powerful secret is within your grasp… Become INVISIBLE. This is NOT a toy or a magic trick. This is NOT an illusion or a Ninja technique.”
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Blind Artist Paints Using Touch →
“…the remarkable story of blind artist John Bramblitt who creates the most strikingly vivid images but didn’t start painting until he lost his sight. To judge colour Bramblitt feels the small differences in the thickness and texture of the paint, and the piece discusses how such fine touch distinction become more possible after sight loss owing to what is known as cross-modal...
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How To Touch Friends and Influence People →
“…a light touch on the arm increased the chances that a male research assistant would persuade a woman in a nightclub to dance with him, or to swap phone numbers.”
That’s got to be the best news for male research assistants ever. Furthermore, grabbing a woman’s arse will get you slapped. It’s all science, folks.
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Flying Panties to Buzz Tokyo Skies →
“On March 6th, if you are in the Akihabara district of Tokyo and you look up, you’ll see hundreds of pairs of girls’ panties. No, you haven’t shrunken into a tiny, homoncular, up-skirt pervert. Instead, you will be “enjoying” the launch of a thousand ornithopters fashioned from underwear.”
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Magic Unicorn Badge Repels Head Lice! →
“The Head Lice Repelling Unit (HELRU) is a small device using the latest technology to repel head lice from infesting children and adults. It is in the form of a badge of the Unicorn and is pinned to the clothing of the individual.”
How does it work, you might ask?
“Without a comprehensive understanding of technology (e.g., that used in space travel) it is not really possible...
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15 Creative and Funny 404 Error Pages →
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The High Weirdness Project Celebrates Fifth... →
“An online “directory of the differently-saned” is celebrating its fifth anniversary on February 25th, 2010. In operation since 2005, the High Weirdness Project is engaged in a wiki-based project (similar to Wikipedia) to categorize strange, fringe, bizarre, and Slackful sources of information.”
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WatchThis can’t come soon enough, as far as I’m concerned.
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Best Spam Email Subject Of The Day...
“Enjoy a prolonged but controllable rock-solid erection for up to 72 hours.”
‘Controllable’? What the Hell do expect me to be doing with it? As long as it stays attached, that’s about as much control as I’ll need.
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Transsexual Performer Vomits on Susan Sarandon →
“A transsexual cabaret performer named Rose Wood engaged in projectile vomiting on stage and hit Sarandon with it. Standing nearby were Scarlett Johansson and Liev Schreiber. According to Wood it was not intended as an affront to the actress and she didn’t take it that way.”
I’d heard Sarandon was pretty liberal, but this is just fucking daft.
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WatchI’m sure there’s a rational explanation for why mobile phones can pop corn, but I for one don’t wanna hear it.
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6-Page Preview of 'The Guild' Comic →
“Internet phenomenon The Guild comes to comics, courtesy of series creator, writer, and star Felicia Day (Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog)! Chronicling the hilarious on- and offline lives of a group of Internet role-playing gamers, the Knights of Good, The Guild has become a cult hit and is the winner of numerous awards from SXSW, YouTube, Yahoo, and the Streamys.”
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The Most Disturbing Submission Letter Ever →
“I am a 22 year old college drop-out. I live in the asshole of the united states, Wisconsin. I have been drawing this shit since I was nine but never felt I was good enough to make a submission. I feel that it’s either now or never. Some really wierd shit is going on around these here parts of the northwoods hey…”
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Erotic Falconry Website →
You think I’m making this shit up, don’t you?
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Best Spam Email Subject Of The Day...
“Please her to full.”
I don’t know; something about the phrasing of this one has made it appear in my head as if it’s being spoken by Captain Kirk…
“Full impulse, Mr Chekhov.”
“Yes, Captin.”
“Bring her around, Mr Sulu.”
“Aye aye, Captain.”
“Please her to full.”
“Yes, SIR!”
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Choke-Proof Hot Dogs - Think Of The Children! →
“Nutritionists have long warned of the perils of hot dogs: fat, sodium and preservatives to name a few. Now, the American Academy of Pediatrics wants foods like hot dogs to come with a warning label — not because of their nutritional risks but because they pose a choking hazard to babies and children.”
Kids - never mind what your momma does, I think you’re supposed to chew them...
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Science vs Fiction →
“Science fiction movies should be allowed only one major transgression of the laws of physics, according to a US professor who has won backing from a number of his peers after creating a set of guidelines for Hollywood.”
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“While it is well enough to leave footprints on the sands of time, it is even...”
– James Branch Cabell
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Viagra Falls →
“Brothel owners in the Lugano area say electric shock treatment to restart customer’s hearts is needed because so many elderly customers are using their services. The most recent victim was a pensioner, thought to be having fun with the help of anti-impotence medication.”
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Eye Reading →
“Until now, it was unclear whether there are outwardly visible physiological responses associated with the decision-making process. But a new study now shows that dilation of the pupils can predict when a decision has been made before an individual voluntarily reports making the decision.”
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Excellent Comics Journal Interview With Kevin... →
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Church of the SubGenius Hour of Slack #1244 -...
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Idiot 'Twilight' Fan Accuses Universal's 'The Wolf... →
“To whom this may concern:
This movie was a complete waste and I feel that it offends ALL Twilight Fans around the world, that including myself. For one, it was a COMPLETE remakingof the Wolf Pack from the Twilight Saga: New Moon. It gives the werewolves a bad name and makes them look like some deformed mutation of a rabid dog…”
Oh, you stupid fucking children. Is there a...
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Totoro Cameo In Toy Story 3 →
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Best Spam Email Subject Of The Day...
“Caplets for ero-deeds.”
‘Ero-deeds’? That’s a new one. I’m going to start using that.
