At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap. When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice. When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back. When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row. When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house. When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could. When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night. When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn. When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends. When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country. When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children. And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, reblog.
Church of the SubGenius Hour of Slack #1258 - X-Day as Discussed On Other Radio Shows
X-Day XIII is coming up — Lucky 13. Since X-Day Drill #12 in 2009, your host and prayer partner has been collecting and setting aside all the parts of OTHER folks’ shows when X-Day is being discussed. Includes: Stang on the British podcast RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE SITTING NOW and Jack Jett’s show on Rational Radio in Dallas; Rev. Susie the Floozie’s “Bob’s” Slacktime Fun House with Puzzling Evidence as a guest; The Puzzling Evidence Show with Dr. Hal, Phineas Narco and Dr. Philo Drummond; there’s also a poem by Nenslo, read by Dr. Hal at 12X-Day. The real killer however is Papa Joe Mama’s sermon from the 2002 (or 2003?) devival in Hamburg, Germany, entitled, “Five Minutes To Midnight”! Also featured are frequent caller Bernard, The Crazy Numbers Guy, and Paula Dupree, the Ape Woman. Actually it is her mad doctor, John Carradine, doing the talking. Paula herself did not speak until the second Ape Woman movie.
This episode mixes parts of an oldie (#371 from 1992, which is not yet in the ancient show archive) with new bits and a great Papa Joe Mama devival sermon from 2002. New is a Psycho Skeletons song, “Racist Lesbians on Drugs,” and some LeMur and Mr. Rection. From 1992 comes more God-killing music by The Rudy Schwartz Project as well as Churchly bands The Swinging Love Corpses and The Klingons/Cloaking Device (from Germany), and Indian Rope Burn. Stang reads shocking cult news and some rants from REVELATION X (in progress at that time) with background music by Jay Cotton/ZomboFropLand. Vintage Puzzling Evidence, Dr. Philo Drummond and Dr. Hal are also represented.
“I don’t know about you, but my eyes are already trained only to read the top half of a web page these days. Rather as a Victorian would not look below the waist, I do not let my eyes have even a second’s contact with the revolting Have Your Say or Comments section of a BBC site, a YouTube page or any blog or tech forum. The lower half of web pages is very like the lower half of the body — full of all kinds of noxious evil smelling poison. I suppose it has to be expelled somewhere, but you will forgive me for not wanting to be close by when it happens.”—Stephen Fry, ingeniously accurate as ever.
"To minimise the risk of head and neck injury, head bangers should decrease their range of head and neck motion, head bang to slower tempo songs by replacing heavy metal with adult oriented rock, only head bang to every second beat, or use personal protective equipment."
"It was March 2005 when the Oscar-winning movie star called me. He had read an article I had written - something about how the celebrity magazines make up lies - and had tracked down my number. He wanted to meet over lunch. He asked me if I could be trusted. The last thing he wanted to see in the papers, he said, was some story about my lunch with Russell Crowe. I told him not to worry. I wouldn’t want to read that story either."