“As people of faith, affirming the Christian teaching that before God all people are equal, we will no longer participate in this discrimination,” the church’s statement says.
THE PREPOSTEROUS BOLLOX OF THE SITUATION
A collection of stuff, things, nonsense, rants, raves, pretties, sillies, and gee-gaws from Rev. Hugo Nebula, Ordained Minister of the Church of the SubGenius.
(And boobs. Sometimes there are boobs. Just like in real life.)
Thank you for reading.
Posts I Like
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Carey Mulligan: Carey, Carey, Quite Contrary - W by Michael Thompson, January 2012
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Mila Kunis by Ruven Afanador
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He said Star Trek is too “philosophical”? Screw that noise.
I don’t...
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Zoe Saldana
Who I Follow
Posts tagged "God"
Q 18: The next time someone says the earth is billions (or millions) of years old, what can you say?
A: Were you there?
And the next time someone says the earth was created in six days by God… what can you say?
Church of the SubGenius Hour of Slack #1403 - The Space Between Your Ears
You might call this the Hour of Slack / Puzzling Evidence Mash-Up of 2013-02-15, Part One. It’s a little easier to hear than the last two solid-PuzEv shows. Collages by LeMur and music by The Psycho Skeletons, Mythical Burrowing Animals, Multi-Fisted Tails of Connie, and even Macklemore are inserted as brief respites from a Puzzling Evidence barrage of voice, involving Puzzling “himself,” Philo, Hal, Stang, and Popess Lilith (on vacation, like Stang) in the KPFA studios, plus callers such as Rev. Baby Bear and God.
- A. If you could get away with one murder in your lifetime without any legal, social, or emotional repercussions, would you kill someone?
- Yes. I think you'd have to be worryingly sane to the the point of insanity to think otherwise. We all wish to kill. It's a constant wonder we don't kill each other more often.
- B. What is your first thought when you receive a message on Tumblr, are you excited for the idea of someone from potentially the other side of the world wanting to talk to you or fearful that someone will criticize you?
- My first thought is that Tumblr still hasn't fixed the Message count widget on the dashboard, as mine has been stuck at one for months.
- C. Have you ever looked down on someone because you thought your religious views were superior?
- I have no religious views other than a form of indifferent pity to those who delude themselves that there's a magic man living in the sky making their lives better than mine.
- D. Would you rather know everything the universe has to offer but in exchange lose all emotions or remain the way you are now?
- Well, I'd say that if you knew all that the universe had to offer, you'd naturally lose all of your emotions anyway. That would be an elevated state of being and emotions are at odds with that. Like Dr Manhattan. But with pants.
- E. If you could live and be healthy without sleeping or eating/drinking, which would you cut out of your life?
- Sleeping. I barely sleep as it is, so I'd happily trade that against a bit of extra health.
- F. If you could take on the exact body and form of anyone else on Earth, who would it be?
- My first thought would be to be Summer Glau and take that for a spin like nobody's business. But if this is a lifetime deal I could do a lot of good to the world in the form of Johnny Depp or George Clooney.
- G. Would you rather burn or freeze to death?
- Freeze. Who the hell would choose to burn to death? I'm assuming it's a literal burning and not the usual death by smoke inhalation first, which is what usually happens? Fuck that.
- H. If it meant it would solve all world hunger, war, disease and bigotry, would you spend the rest of eternity in Hell?
- There is no hell. Also, no.
- I. Was the first crush in your life something you had or something someone had on you?
- Something I had. Obviously.
- J. Could you live without having sex ever (again) in exchange for eternal youth?
- No. What would be the point of eternal youth then?
- K. Have you ever watched a full length pornographic movie?
- Who ever watches a full length porno? Am I right?
- L. The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?
- The Doors.
- M. If you could have the ability to manipulate matter or energy, which would you choose?
- I'd manipulate energy because that would allow me the power to manipulate matter. Physics, folks.
- N. What was the worst nightmare you ever had?
- I went through a phase of dreaming that I was living back home with my parents. Then the dreams changed, so that my parents were living with me, but my house was their house and they were in charge and I was always doing chores and getting into trouble for things other people had done.
- O. Would you rather spend one year with your one true love just to never see them again or the rest of your life with second best?
- This, I'll grant you, is a good question. I've given this a lot of thought, because I'm married. You know, I think I'm going to be ruthlessly logical and go with spending the rest of my life with second best, on the grounds that my second best would be plenty good enough.
- P. All the sequels/remakes/adaptations/rip-offs in movies nowadays, good or bad?
- Daft nonspecific question. Sequels, obviously, can be good (especially, as happens more often these days, they're planned as a series of films from the outset). I think that Hollywood's rampaging through its catalogue of classics for the remake treatment shows a lack of imagination and enterprise that shouldn't come as a surprise and disappointment, but does. Having said that, some remakes (Dawn of the Dead comes to mind) are perfectly good films (though, at least in Dawn of the Dead's case, possibly more by virtue of not being remakes in anything but name).
- Q. Would you rather be dirt poor and emotionally fulfilled in life or be rich beyond imagination and emotionally dissatisfied for life?
- I'm already emotionally dissatisfied, so give me the money.
- R. Do you have any (secret) feelings of bigotry to any group of people?
- Yes. And I think we already know who.
- S. Would you rather be the only person in the world that can read minds or have everyone else in the world be able to read minds except for your own?
- I'd like to read minds, because I'd like to know what people really think.
- T. If everyone in the world would automatically only know one language, which language would you choose?
- Klingon. I'd make everyone learn fucking Klingon.
- U. If you were old enough and not in a situation where it would be inappropriate, would you sleep with one of your (past) school teachers/professors?
- No. Not for any moral platitude, but because I went to school in the '70s and '80s when everyone was a minger.
- V. A world without religion, good, bad, neutral?
- If we didn't have God to argue about, I'm sure we'd find something else. I know I would.
- W. The men's rights movement, legitimate cause or laughable, and why?
- You're going to have to give me a couple of minutes while I go and Google if this is an actual thing, because that sounds laughable... Okay, I'm back. Googled that, and the first thing on the first page was, "Media Bias is a constant presence in our lives. Every facet of Journalism targets against men," so I'm going to go with my gut and say laughable.
- X. You can eliminate one of your five senses to substantially strengthen the others, which one and would you do it?
- I don't think I would, because I'm sure that not immediately obvious drawbacks would come along to bite me on the arse.
- Y. Do looks mean anything to you? Don't lie, could you fall in love with someone you thought was ugly?
- No.
- Z. Can you understand the mindset and logic used by the opposite spiritual opinion? An atheist understanding the belief in a higher power and vice versa.
- Look, if you can find me an atheist who can understand the belief in a higher power, and I'll show you someone who isn't an atheist. Atheism is in the dictionary - look it up. I can understand people who believe in God, because I understand that people are small and scared and we evolved as a developing species afraid of the dark and the thunder, and I understand that the Church of organised religion manipulates superstition and herd instinct to give themselves all the wealth and power, but I don't believe that people who aren't indoctrinated by family, friends and the Church would ever consider that their daily lives were governed by an old man in the clouds who punishes and rewards them on an entirely arbitrary basis and would consign them to an eternity of fiery hell for something as slight as considering that your neighbour's donkey is something they might like. And even if there were a God, would you devote your life to a being who gave you Ten Commandments to adhere to, and the first four were concerned with worshipping Him (You shall have no other Gods but me; You shall not make for yourself any idol, nor bow down to it or worship it; You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God; You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy) before we get to the shit about not murdering and stealing from each other?
12. Gay people “have no more claims to special rights than child molesters or rapists.”—Teacher’s Resource Guide to Current Events for Christian Schools, 1998-1999, Bob Jones University Press, 1998
11. Abstract algebra is too dang complicated: “Unlike the ‘modern math’ theorists, who believe that mathematics is a creation of man and thus arbitrary and relative, A Beka Book teaches that the laws of mathematics are a creation of God and thus absolute…A Beka Book provides attractive, legible, and workable traditional mathematics texts that are not burdened with modern theories such as set theory.”—ABeka.com
“Dick never intended The Exegesis for publication, and aside from In Pursuit of VALIS, a tiny selection of extracts from the book that was brought out in 1991, it has remained a thing of legend only. Until last month, however, when Houghton Mifflin Harcourt brought out a huge 900-page volume, co-edited by Jonathan Lethem and Pamela Jackson. It’s still only about one tenth of the whole thing, but it’s a start. But what, if anything, does this text have to offer people who are not Philip K Dick?”
“If a baseball and bat cost $110, and the bat costs $100 more than the ball, how much does the ball cost?
“If you answered $10 you are inclined to believe in religion. If you answered $5 you are inclined to disbelieve.”
I answered $10. I don’t believe in God, but I am crap at maths.
Well this is awkward.
(via fiercebunny)
“Adventure Time is a show about the LSD fueled hallucinations of a liberally raised small child, Finn, and his dog, Jake, who appears to have been date-raped, probably by a cat or a hippie, because dogs are innocent and incapable of voluntarily consuming drugs. Adventure Time is basically a Beatles song mixed with a Lady GAGA music video wrapped up in an erotic package reminiscent of a cross between GLEE and Jersey Shore. Despite its large viewership among 20-something serial killers, it is on Cartoon Network, which means that many youth, especially those with negligent liberal or immigrant parents, are being brainwashed by its blatant messages of self-destruction and evil in the most colorful fashion possible.”
(via Is Adventure Time A Gateway Drug To LSD, Homosexuality and the Rave Lifestyle? • ChristWire)
Man, I love Adventure Time, but if I got as much out of it as this dude, it would totally be my favourite show EVAR.
Church of the SubGenius Hour of Slack #1342 – Atheism and The Conspiracy, with Penn Jillette, Ship of State 2, More Wor
Rev. Penn Jillette — yes, a real SubGenius Minister — wrote a book (partly about atheism) called “God, No!” and in this episode we excerpt the first chapter of his audiobook. It simply kicks ass. Some discussion about the late Christopher Hitchins from a recent Radio Synaesthesia ties into it, as does Part 2 of Rev. Xister’s “Ship of State” media barrage. Bits of Puzzling Evidence, The Large, and a sermon by Rev.”Suds” Pshaw work themselves in, and the show climaxes with a touching Xmas “Bob” hymn by Popess Pantiara Evokavitch. This episode was produced somewhat “on the fly” at Stang Ranch, Stangsville, Texas just before Xistlessnessmess 2011, so some subject matter (such as Kim Jong Il’s death) may seem unseemly and untimely. Well, that’s Time Control for you.
The vote was unanimous and brought tears to the eyes of some of the 100 or so members who stood to vote in favor of the “statement on marriage ceremonies.”
(via jaqen-hghars)
They call people who talk to God, pious. They call people to whom God speaks, lunatics.
Philip K. Dick - The Transmigration of Timothy Archer.
