THE PREPOSTEROUS BOLLOX OF THE SITUATION

A collection of stuff, things, nonsense, rants, raves, pretties, sillies, and gee-gaws from Rev. Hugo Nebula, Ordained Minister of the Church of the SubGenius. (And boobs. Sometimes there are boobs. Just like in real life.) Thank you for reading.
 

 

 

 

 
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Posts tagged "church of the subgenius"
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We went to Germany! We had a great time! We stayed with Rev. Tatjana and Rev. Buckky in the best-located SubGenius apartment ever! We met The Large! He is large in height, voice and nerve! We saw the town! It has naked ladies and scary babies everywhere! We were horrified by hundreds of tortured Jesus pictures at the art museum! We invented a new language that nobody can understand! After the location recordings of the first half, we got Lonesome Cowboy Dave on the line and he told us about everything we DIDN’T see. And we read Rev. Peas’ godawful advice re: how to behave in Germany. 

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Church of the SubGenius Hour of Slack #1481 - Mass Wisteria

We had a great two weeks in Germany, but our gripping report on that will have to wait until next week. This is the second of two shows from July 2, recorded before a live audience in Caffeina’s café at the Wisteria campground, with Dr. Hal, Rev. Baby Bear, Rev. Richard Skull, Princess Wei ‘R.’ Doe and Rev. Stang. Topics include working for “Bob,” bad booze, our perpetual dissatisfaction, The First Church of the Last Laugh, head launchings, Mass Wisteria, Stang’s hair, the kinks of “Bob,” “Bob’s” Favorite Comics and other swag classics, scotch tape-and-FATE-magazine collage technique, the story of Count Jesus, a rant by Fellow Citizen Bork (read by Stang), the Planets of the Apes, “Bob” as a CGI character, The Uncanny Valley of “Bob,” Intelligent but Psychopathic Design, the Socialist Social, Obabo the Presiserp of Uninu, Dr. Hal recites a Tolkein poem. 

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Dr. Hal, Rev. Baby Bear and Rev. Stang recored this show before a live audience in Caffeina’s café at the Wisteria campground, the first of two shows on July 2. The discussion goes all over the place, but especially notable are what we now know to have been the opening salvos in a bloody and tragic mystery that unfolded during the week of the 17X-Day Drill. The disappearance of the obnoxious dog “Snuckles” was only the beginning. Other topics: Genius Vs. SubGenius. “Bob’s” second childhood. Slack Altars and Recalcitrant Spouses. Surfing the Luck Plane. Kaspar Hauser. Toilet training with “Bob.” Stang’s grandchildren are heard for the first time in this episode. 

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The previous week’s live Hour of Slack on WCSB Cleveland was painfully extended for an extra half hour, due to a late DJ; likewise, at 17 X-Day, we had on July 1 recorded a show that, despite being performed in front of a live audience, contained many utterances which for various excellent reasons must be censored TO SAVE YOU. This, then, is a mish-mash of an accidental WCSB live show featuring guest Lonesome Cowboy Dave with a campground-recorded 17X-Day show that was too “inside” for public or pubic consumption. The show recorded at Wisteria featured Dr. Hal and Priestess Pisces along with parasite-host Rev. Ivan Stang. Between the two half-shows, pretty much everything is covered, topic-wise. This show is being released a week early because Stang & Doe are soon taking two weeks off. Way off. If no new shows are posted until Sept. 1, it’s because we were already caught up; we’ve been posting more than one show a week since 17X-Day. 

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First half is performances from 17X-Day: Andrew the Impaled, The Mutant Mountain Boys, Evolution Control Committee, Phat Man Dee, plus rants by The Good Rev. Roger (read by Stang), Rev. Skull (read by Pisces), Rev. Feit C. Taj and Rev. Rachel Weirdagain. The second half is live at WCSB. Stang reads Rev. Eraazu’s BLOG OF THE SUBGENIUS and The Secrets of the Skopts from THE SEXUAL RELATIONS OF MANKIND. Other topics: Lonesome Cowboy Dave’s leaking forehead problem. Mean Dallas Barbie Soroity MILFs. A bunch of Sheetzes. Obabo the Presiserp. Back to 17X-Day for the end, with Rev. Scapegoat’s rant and more horror of Armneji Front.

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We recorded two Hours of Slack (or something like Hours of Slack) every day during the 17X-Day Drill, all with Stang and Dr. Hal, this particular first one also with special guest Priestess Pisces. By the strangest chance, the first hour of recording required ZERO cuts and came to One Hour Exactly. And, it’s RELENTLESS! Subjects touched upon: Mole stampede mystery. The superstars at X-Day. The sad case of the Facebook Bob Dobbses. Pisces’ Mean Meme. The Church: “Teaching the Unteachable What No One Wants to Know.” Monster movie girls and puberty. “STAY OFF THE STRAW.” Donkey island. All SubGeniuses are differently fucked up. Sallack vs. Sakkak. Stang the Sacred Nutless Chimp. I lost my virginity at Dr. Dark’s Drive-In. Earwigs diapers. Strange sounds, footprints in the woods. Stang’s new poem about the gorilla. (Uncensored on the Internet version)

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DON’T MISS THIS EPISODE! We wouldn’t use a term like “kick-ass” unless we meant it. We got near-perfect recordings of great bands and preachers at X-Day, and here we feature one song from each band plus some of the most pew-peelin’ preachin’ you’ll ever hear. St. Andrew the Impaled’s new song “A Saucer Built for One” is the funniest, porniest X-Day singalong since “Take Me Off to Space,” and much harder to remember! The Mutant Mountain Boys deliver “Spaceship Bound,” Evolution Control Committee mashes Zep and Britney, and Phat ManDee debuts an autiobiographical song, “Hey Fat Chick.” There’s even a vivid Armneji Front replay and description! The inspirational rants are by Rev. Baby Bear, Priestess Pisces, and St. Andrew the Impaled — and they will GIG you like a squid. Bonus: TWO parables by Rev. Skull, and lots of live running and gurgling commentary by Stang, Doe, and Lonesome Cowboy Dave.

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Dr. Hal, Stang, Doe, and host Dr. Sinister tackle callers in this second half of the June 29 Radio Synaesthesia show, recorded just before leaving Cleveland for 17 X-Day at Wisteria/Starwood. Among the many topics covered: Ant music. Flying Spaghetti Monster and Discordians vs. Boo Hoo Bible & “Bob”. Stang’s “craydar.” Starwood vs. Burning Man. What’s wrong with this country. SubGenius vs. SuperGenius. Hal tells exactly why the Porridge Bird lays its eggs in the air. X-Day = 2017 according to G. W. Bush. Lovecraft. Ayn Rand Paul. Moral imperatives. “Sixty’s not old!” Presiserp Obabo’s Google Earth minions. Hal does lines from Half Life. 

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Following Hour of Slack #1472 on June 29, Dr. Hal, StangDoe, and Lonecow Dave joined host Dr. Sinister for two hours of Radio Synaesthesia on WCSB — with callers! This is the first of those two hours. With four voices in the studio and three on the phone lines, this sounds almost like a Puzzling Evidence show: DENSE! Subjects discussed include: Plane crash and saucer seating. When girls call in. SubG: Grief Counselors for Humanity. Brain buttocks. Wisterical women. Major Amos Custard. “Cutting the Onions.” Readings from Lovecraft trading cards by monsterwax.com. Aspies. UFO sightings by callers. Mentat Vulcan Jedi Stang. The day Dr. Hal met Ivan. Vampire leprechauns. Hex Day is here! 

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Recorded on July 6 at WCSB in Cleveland immediately after the return of Dr. Hal and Rev. Stang from the 17X-Day Drill at Wisteria. We have decided to release the story of what happened at 17X-Day gradually so as not to traumatize others as we were traumatized, and also to prevent liability problems. We skirt the issue for now for everyone’s own good; you’ll just have to take our word for it. The mysterious and terrible events are discussed, or rather hinted at, also by Lonesome Cowboy Dave and Dr. Sinister. The show opens with some more carny barker talking by Nate Eagle as well as a weird piece about UFOs by Joe Jeziorski. Nenslo’s classic X-Day hymn closes the show.

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Herein we combine the incredible collage work of Rev. Susie the Floozie and a barely more credible live broadcast from WCSB-Cleveland featuring special guest Dr. Hal with Lonesome Cowboy Dave, Dr. Sinister and hosts Stang & Doe, both originally broadcast the weekend before 17X-Day. Rev. the Floozie’s tour-de-force took her weeks to edit, whereas the live Cleveland show ate up a mere half hour. Despite the sad punchline — the world didn’t end, obviously — this pre-X-Day show demonstrates the sweet, trusting faith of the SubGenius Elder Hierarchites that all unbelivers will die. Little did we know how bitterly our glowing hopes would be dashed against the cold, spikey rocks of yet another hard reality. There is supreme irony in the subsequent events, the recordings of which will be heard in upcoming episodes.

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We’re posting this early because the world ends next week, and we don’t want to have to stop right in the middle of the Apocolypse just to mess with distributing this show.

This 2003 episode was one listener’s intro to the Church of the SubGenius, and he recently drew our attention to it because he was looking for a copy. We’re glad he did because neither the war nor X-Day have changed much, and our 2003 description remains almost valid: “This is The Greatest Hour of Slack Ever. I know I often say that, but this time it’s true for sure. The live ESO shows of the last 3 weeks have been WAR TALK and X-Day Hankerin’. The best in those veins that wasn’t TOTALLY stupid, yet was still gut-blowingly hilarious - yet horrifying, considering the subject matter - those clips went into this one. Also, Mister F. Le Mur cranked out noise like he previously cranked out art. I guess Le Mur is now the Slack man’s Terry Gilliam to the Slack man’s Monty Python, in that he does a lot of the show, yet he’s never heard. This show furthermore contains an Artemia Salina chop-up which should get lots of future replay as it’s copied and bounced around audio sarcasm collectors. And, the newly Hour of Slacked Hank Flloyd and the Swerving Headlights presents yet ANOTHER great alien abduction C&W ballad.” The live parts were recorded at WCSB, Cleveland, for the late Chas Smith’s show ESO Swamp Radio. Chas is heard along with Lonesome Cowboy dave, Preincess Wei R. Doe and Rev. Stang. 

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First part: some Starwood Stangrant, some St. Andrew the Impales X-Day, Papa Joe rant, GGG rant, and clips of antique carny talker NATE EAGLE, thanks to precious recordings relocted by Rev. Taylor Jessen in The Firesign Theatre’s vaults! After that, it’s a no-holds barred, any-throw take-down with lip wrestlers Stang, Wei and Lonecow. Spock vs. Darth Vader. Stang and Doe’s story of Obama’s psy-ops, spying on us and Mr. Sister using Google Earth vans, staged accidents, bugs implanted in bugs, robot bird drones. Stop snoring, Sleeple! Invaders from Canadia. Schizophrenic? What’s the dif? Abduble Personality. That cult of Isis worshippors in the Mideast — DAVE DISAPPEARS! Obama cut him off! Fudd ‘em if they can’t take a joke. 

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We’re using up some of the nifty but heretofore unplayed location recordings made at 16X-Day and Starwood last year. There are parts of Rev. Stang’s Starwood 34 sermon — mostly the parts where he read rants by others (such as Onan Canobite), and some “documentary” material recorded at the giant bonfire. Some funny on-and-offstage moments prompted by the rainstorms of 16X-Day are played, even though they might help keep attendance down. We hear two rants by Dr. G. Gordon Gordon, three Amino Acids tunes and one Psycho “Skeletoon.” Then, Lonesome Cowboy Dave calls in, and you can probably guess what happens. IF YOU ARE MENTALLY ILL, THAT IS! 

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NOT SAFE FOR WORK! This one WON’T be on the actual broadcast radio stations. Some rants and songs just don’t work when censored, and these are the raw, cuss-filled tracks we’ve stockpiled from last year’s festivals: 16 X-Day, Starwood, and the Pittsburgh devival. Included are bits from the live Hours of Slack recorded at 16X-Day as well as some improv jams by Multiple Fisted Tails of Connie (Pisces on vocals). There’s also educational information on Face Fucking Bats and the Giant Dick Eating Spiders of Wisteria. The Rudy Schwartz Project song “Some Heroin Up Your Butt” has been saved just for this episode, along with many clips and collages. You’ll enjoy singing along with St. Andrew The Impaled’s “Fuck is All You Need.” At the end of this 74-minute hour we offer the very weird-sounding complete performances at the Pittsburgh show of both Eric Singer and his Slime-a-tron, and  St. tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE in his first SubGenius performance since the old, old, old days!