THE PREPOSTEROUS BOLLOX OF THE SITUATION

“A couple of days ago, I was walking past the Early Learning Centre (A shop for very young children in the UK) and it struck me that it was incredibly strange for them to be selling, and advertising, Anakin Skywalker toys.  Now, I didn’t really mind.  I merely thought it amusing that the murderer of “Younglings” would be thought of as a positive character in other section of the franchise, so, on a whim, I sent them an email.

“They responded.  In an awesome way.”

“Rickie La-Touch, 30, was found guilty of murder after his Thai-born wife apparently damagedDarth Vader and Luke Skywalker toys worth thousands of pounds.”

“Very few films have ever shown a net profit on the books.

“How do they do this? Well first, imagine that George Lucas decided to go to New York tomorrow to talk about showing Return of the Jedi in 3D. And he stayed at the Ritz Carlton, ordered sushi at 3 a.m. from room service and used the hotel phone to call Bahrain to make prank calls.

“Well, 26 years after the release of the film, the accountants at Lucasfilm are going to charge $86,000 to the costs of Return of the Jedi. I am NOT joking. This is what they do.”

…in a climactic scene from “Return of the Jedi,” when Darth Vader hurls the evil Emperor to his demise on the Death Star, he would now shout “No!” (In all previous versions of “Jedi,” Vader has committed this crucial deed in silence.)

On Wednesday, a press representative for Lucasfilm confirmed that this change will be included in the Blu-ray release, writing in an e-mail: “Yes — Darth says NO.”

For fuck’s sake; his name isn’t Darth. It’s Vader. Darth is a title, like Darth Maul, Darth Sidious, etc. It’s like referring to someone informally as ‘Mister’. No wonder fans can’t get a reasonably unfucked DVD of Star Wars if the fucking Muppets at Lucasfilm don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.