“I just spent 8 minutes sweating, rocking back and forth and hyperventilating while shitting. I thought it was death. At 36 I have never experienced anything like it. It kept getting worse and worse until finally my ass let loose with the fury of a thousand suns. Then, aside from a burning asshole, it has subsided. I am still sitting here waiting for something more. I think it’s done.”
(via)

“This is really, truly, actually Blake Boston, the guy from Scumbag Steve. After many emails, I met him in person at a Slacktory-sponsored Halloween party this year. I asked him to write a letter of advice to Jess, the girl who may have just discovered she’s Annoying Facebook Girl. I lightly edited it for grammar at his request.”