THE PREPOSTEROUS BOLLOX OF THE SITUATION

A collection of stuff, things, nonsense, rants, raves, pretties, sillies, and gee-gaws from Rev. Hugo Nebula, Ordained Minister of the Church of the SubGenius. (And boobs. Sometimes there are boobs. Just like in real life.) Thank you for reading.
 

 

 

 

 
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Posts tagged "religion"

"God has admitted he’s delighted to finally have someone to live with him in Heaven, after the death of Westboro Baptist Church leader Fred Phelps.

"God welcomed the Church leader, claiming he had waited thousands of years for someone who finally ‘got it’ and could therefore be welcomed into through the pearly gates…"

95 plays
George Carlin,
It's Bad for Ya

songsofsacrilegeandblasphemy:

“God bless America!” Once again, respectfully, I say to myself: “What the fuck does that mean?” God bless America? Is that a request? Is that a demand? Is that a suggestion? Politicians say it at the end of every speech as if it were some sort of verbal tick that they can’t get rid of. “God bless you and God bless America! God bless you and God bless America!” I guess they figure that if they leave it out someone’s gonna think they’re bad Americans.

Let me tell you a little secret about God, folks: God does not give a flying’ fuck about America. OK? He doesn’t care! He never cared about this country! He never has, he never will. He doesn’t care about this country anymore than he cares about Mongolia, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, the Suez Canal or the North Pole! He simply doesn’t care, OK? He doesn’t care! Listen! There are 200 countries in the world now. Do these people honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his favorites? Why would he do that? Why would God have a favorite country? And why would it be America out of all the countries? Because you have the most money? Because he likes our National Anthem? Maybe it’s because he heard we have 18 delicious flavors of Classic Rice-A-Roni? It’s delusional thinking!

And America is not alone with this sort of delusions. Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody’s gonna be disappointed! Somebody’s wasting their fucking time! Could it be… everyone? Now… now… If people wanna say “God Bless America”, that’s their business, I don’t care, but here’s what I don’t understand: If they say “God Bless America”, presumably, they believe in God and if they do, they must have heard, God loved everyone! That’s what he said, he loved everyone and loved them equally! So why would these people ask God to do something that went against his own teachings? You know what these “God Bless America” people oughta do? They oughta check with that Jesus fellow they’re so crazy about. They’re always talking about “What would Jesus do?” They don’t wanna know so they can do it - they just wanna know so they can tell other people to do it! Well, I’ll tell you what Jesus would have done.

He would have gone up on the top of the Empire State Building and said: “God bless everyone around the world forever and ever ‘till the end of time!” That’s what Jesus would have done, and that’s what these people should do, or else they should admit that “God Bless America” is really just some sort of an empty slogan, with no real meaning except for something vague like “good luck!” Good luck, America! You’re on your own!… which is a little bit closer to the truth.

(via jesciexvx)

A Colorado man who was rescued from his submerged car by first responders now claims, via his lawyer, that it was something else that saved him: grace, presumably of the divine kind.

"And he’s getting ready to sue the people who pulled him to safety – because  he says they took too long to show up…"

(via reddit)

(via jesciexvx)

"Jesus Christ visits Sarah Silverman to discuss women’s reproductive rights…"

SARAH SILVERMAN IS VISITED BY JESUS CHRIST (by Sarah Silverman)

In the “Book of Mormon,” dark skin is a sign of God’s curse, while white skin is a sign of his blessing. The book tells of a conflict between two lost tribes of Israel, the Lamanites and Nephites, who journeyed to the New World and made their home in Mesoamerica. The Lamanites sinned against God, and “because of their iniquity. …the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them” (2 Nephi 5:21). Later, when Lamanites became Christians, “their curse was taken from them, and their skin became white like unto the Nephites” (3 Nephi 2:15)…”

(via reddit)

"In their unanimous decision to allow Hodkin’s appeal, the Supreme Court justices said that the 1970 ruling was out of date in its definition of religious worship as involving "reverence or veneration of God or of a Supreme Being." "Religion should not be confined to religions which recognise a supreme deity," wrote Lord Toulson, giving the judgment of the Supreme Court. "To do so would be a form of religious discrimination unacceptable in today’s society," he wrote, saying that the criterion would exclude Buddhism, among other faiths."

"Pupils from Littleton Green Community School, Cannock, were expected to go to Staffordshire University to "learn about different cultures".

"A letter to parents said it was a "statutory requirement".

"Letters sent to parents said children would get a ‘racial discrimination’ mark if they did not go on the trip, where they would have the "opportunity to explore other religions"."

(via BoingBoing)

christiannightmares:

George W. Bush to raise money for group that converts Jews for Jesus to hasten the Second Coming of Christ (To read the story, click image or here; For a related post, click here http://christiannightmares.tumblr.com/post/37426819403/vision-of-a-weeping-george-w-bush-in-this-insane)

(via mostlysignssomeportents)

leasthelpful:

"Book I haven’t read inaccurately describes a place no one’s been to"

"…the Ukip leader “can only be obnoxious about the French”. He imposes the same restriction on all party members. When Godfrey Bloom MEP referred to developing countries earlier this year as “bongo bongo land” and later, at the Ukip conference, to women who didn’t clean behind their fridges as “sluts”, his leader knew “he had to go”.

"Farage insists Bloom was an exception. “When people say Ukip is racist, it makes me laugh. Look at our intern,” and he points to the young woman who delivered us a cup of tea. “She’s half Hindu!”"

"Half-Hindu”?

"American Biblical scholar Joseph Atwill will be appearing before the British public for the first time in London on the 19th of October to present a controversial new discovery: ancient confessions recently uncovered now prove, according to Atwill, that the New Testament was written by first-century Roman aristocrats and that they fabricated the entire story of Jesus Christ. His presentation will be part of a one-day symposium entitled "Covert Messiah" at Conway Hall in Holborn (full details can be found at http://www.covertmessiah.com).”

Being considered a Christian means you get a lot of unearned esteem from the public, and you’re given a lot more benefit of the doubt than if you claimed to be, say, an atheist. Indeed, for many audiences, it’s better to sound like an idiot while claiming to be Christian than to sound intelligent without mentioning religion at all.